Do I have depression, or ?

Anytime you have thoughts of suicide, it is serious. The crying spells are a sign of depression. You;re obsessive behavioyr (such as over the word maybe) could be a sign of depression. All of these things are understandable because of your recent traumas:the seperation, the moving, the loneliness. And those things make it harder and harder to get out. I suggest you take the small things you have and work with them and focus on those small good things, and try and go back to your dad, being 15 if you tell the judge "I want to live with my dad" it's likely it will matter. just hang in there. it always gets better