Problems with anxiety and depression?

ok so i am a 21 year old male with some serious anxiety and depression issues. the depression has been going on for about one year and im starting to feel like im just a body, no purpose of being here. ive been drinking heavily and been having suicidal thoughts. although i know i would never kill myself these kind of sick thoughts are making me feel like im losing my mind. i dont know what to do. i do NOT have medical insurance so its very costly for me to go to the doctor. is there anything i can do to try and heal natuarlly like a hobby or something? i could really use some help thanks guys.