I'm madly in love with my ex still?

Well 4 months ago I dated a boy named james. Well what happened was in December he told me he liked me but then I was friends with popular kids and he was kinda like a mysterious cute guy but it'd be weird if usages him. I loved him back but couldn't date him. So me and the popular crowd got Ina fight and I asked him out. He said yes. We lasted 4 months and he impacted me so much. He was my bestfriend, helped me with depression, made me happy, was affectionate, he was my world! We broke up after I though I loved a kid named Steve. But I realized I didn't and James took me back we broke up and dyedfor a week and broke up and dated for a day and broke up. We are best friends now an we hug and hold hands and he puts his arms around me. But he isn't looking for a relationship