How can i stop hurting and crying and move on?

I was with my boyfriend for only 3 months but we really fell in love fast, he took me to the nicest places on dates, always bought me flowers, and even talked about having a baby together some day, (Im divorced and have 3 children) He would talk about me and my boys moving in with him and being a family.Just this weekend I was at his house and I was looking for a notebook to write some stuff down, and i noticed he had a list of stuff.. (I later learned it was his AA journal) the list said MY FEARS and 3rd on the list he had written i fear of being gay, and he wrote how he would always wanna be around the guys all the girls liked, and at the end he wrote so what if i am..I told him i read it and confronted him and he freaked out saying when he wrote gay he meant weak, i totally think thats a lie! and i broke up with him, ive ignored all his calls n txts and its killing me!! i need to snap out of this depression,any ideas PLEASE HLP!